Funny Shit

Courtesy of the boys at Awful Announcing. Chris Bosh is a man.


http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=47747b6a-252d-433d-a6c3-bc1a9966dea8

Moustaches

So I'm back in NY and one of the great things that NY brings to the table is the YES Network. This is a place where sports fans can listen to some of the great sports minds ever. Mike and his Mad Dog, Michael Kay broadcasting games and then interviewing celebs, Bobby Murcer, a great baseball player in his day but most importantly a great man.

Unlike the "NO" Network (SNY) we never go into too much critique of what our team is doing. You never heard Torre complain about comments Kay made, because he'd never dare question St. Joe of the South Bronx. Which is the point of having your own network, your supposed to be biased. Mets fans just don't get that yet. Maybe because they've never been true winners and strive to be better than the Yankees at something and maybe broadcasting is it. Who knows.

Another great thing about the YES Network is the in depth coverage they give to the happenings inside the clubhouse. And what is the recent buzz going on about the clubhouse? Moustaches.
If you look carefully you'll see them on as many people as has worn the Giambino's thong.(I must give the credit first and foremost to Tony Pena, our stellar 1st base coach who has sported the 'stache for a couple of years.) Johnny Damon, Jason Giambi, Ross Olendorf are all sporting them. And you know what? I have the crew at the YES Network to thank for letting me know why they have them. During the 3rd inning of tonight's game Kay and David Cone were talking about superstitions and Kay mentioned that Giambi didn't shave his upper lip one game and started hitting so he let it grow, as was the case with Damon. Olendorf isn't worthy for Kay to talk to so maybe when Olendorf becomes Jeff Nelson maybe Kay will talk to him but for now we can only speculate.

Thinking back throughout my generation of Yankees I can say with out any doubt that Giambi and Damon both rank pretty high on the list of Yankees with 'staches. (Cuz I can only remember 4)

Jeff Nelson-Sorry Kiviat but Giambi's 'stache doesn't come close to comparing to Nellie's. Nelson had that "Hey I'm a hick, and I don't give a fuck," look.
Giambi-After baseball I could definitely see him doing some porn.
Damon-He looks like a cop, but anything Damon does, I love.
Sal Fasano-Are we sure he was a catcher and not a plumber?

Game 1

Great way to start the NBA Finals. The Celtics really put it too the Lakers in the second half. I thought they did the a decent job vs Kobe by running different guys at him making it difficult for him to get free and ultimately tire him out. The C's better hope that Kobe doesn't get 26 shots again during this series because if he gets that many in any of the upcoming games he might go for 40 in every game.

Paul Pierce. Wow where to start. Willis Reed Jr., nah, I'm just kidding. What a joke that was. Now I don't question that he was hurt, I've had someone step on my shoe and me twist my knee during a game. Yes its painful but for Christ sake man, walk off on your own power or throw your arms around 2 teammates and limp off. The wheel chair was a bit much too. Who do you think you are? John Locke.

Finally, I'd just like to remind all of you that think the C's will ride the momentum of this game to sweep or win in 6. Way back in the 2001 Finals AI went off and carried the Sixers to win game 1 of that series. Eerie parallels to that game. The star of the team goes by his initials, that same star waited their entire career to get the the Finals and went off. (AI might have had better stats but KG's end of the game put back dunk ended the game with a little more than a minute to go)

The Lakers biggest weakness was exposed, rebounding, and it will continue to be exploited for the remainder of the series. Still, Lakers in 5.

A Few Thoughts.

OK so now its June and I thought I would return from my sabbatical, (smart college word I picked up) and drop some knowledge.

This really is my favorite time of the year. Baseball is starting to mean something, all the quaint pseudo-sports, like tennis, golf and horse racing, are becoming fun to watch and the NBA Finals start tonight. And of course because Kimbo has arrived.

Even though I'm in Florida, (coming back to NY soon) I still remember the spring fever that I would get New York the past 20 years. It's always this time of year that you can rest your mind (with school being over) and just kick back and watch baseball, letting yourself drift away into the game, getting so involved you start shouting at the TV and your family secretly question's your sanity. I'm only 22 and my parents have secretly thought I've been insane for almost 5 years, my friends, they've known a little longer.

I digress.

Baseball is now to the point where people who love the game can start to make educated predictions, because that's what we all live for, to see our picks actually achieve what we hoped they could. And you can check My Articles and see my March season preview. As you can see I clearly was drinking the AL Central Kool-Aid. I was high on the Tigers and Indians and why wouldn't I be. Everyone at ESPN was telling me that the Tigers were going to score a bazillion runs and throw shutouts every night. It wasn't just the ridiculous ESPN people like Steve Phillips, Orestes Destrade and EY. It was the respectable guys like Gammons and Krukjian selling the Kool-Aid too. So of course I bought it and now, I want my choice back. And I can have it back now that I have a blog.

The NL champion is going to be the team that gets hot at the end of the season. The Cubs and Brewers are the hottest teams now but the season doesn't end for four more months. The Mets, Phillies, D-Backs, Dodgers and Braves are all inconsistent. The Marlins are young. So who is going to represent the NL in the World Series? The team that roars through September winning 18 of 23 or something like that.

The AL champion is going to be the Angels. Sucks but who else is going to put it together long enough to last the season. The White Sox are a powder keg, just like the Balkans pre-WWI, waiting for one event to spark a war but they'll make the playoffs. Boston is now in first place and will make the playoffs but you've got a better chance of seeing me in a Jenna Jameson porno than you would of seeing me pick the Red Sox to win the World Series. So that's 2/3 of the division leaders in the AL. And then there are the Rays. I'll dye my hair fuckin pink if they make the playoffs. Your looking at 3 of the 4 teams who'll make the playoffs. The fourth? The Yankees.

We all have our allegiances to certain teams, mine is to the Yankees (shocker)but first and foremost I am a baseball fan. Now don't get me wrong every season for the last 15 or so I've picked the Yankees to make the playoffs. Does that make me a homer? Maybe. But ask anyone whose been around me the last four postseasons. The confidence I've had in the Yanks has diminished exponentially every year since The Collapse.

This is not supposed to be about the Yanks so I'm going to stop.

More about my favorite time of the year.

NBA Finals start tonight. This is great for the league and hopefully will turn people who love basketball but for some reason hate the NBA back to liking the league. But I have one beef with ESPN about the coverage. I'm less of a fan because I didn't see the Lakers-Celtics battle during the 80's? Fuck the 80's. The only cool things about the 80's were the cool people who were born during that decade. (Random Thought: Remember in Dazed and Confused when the chick with the red McNeil 'fro (inside MW joke) said the 60's were bitchin' the 70's "obviously" sucked and that the 80's were going to be awesome. How stupid is she. No wonder she never got any roles after that.) So what if I didn't see two tall white guys clothesline each other. Imagine if that happened tonight. Jay Marriotti's head would explode. Were the 80's a great period for the NBA? Yeah, but they wore short shorts. Any way, I really like the Lakers chances to win because of Kobe and I'll feel like an asshole for not picking them to win, but ESPN is picking them so once again I'm buying bunk Kool-Aid. (Another random thought: OK, say for the last 5 years you've been basing your decisions about cars from a car magazine. They send out people to look and test drive cars and give their reviews. This magazine then becomes so big because it's the first of it's kind and whatever they say is taken like its one of the missing gospels in the Bible. People become so enamored with their presentation they look to them for everything to do with cars. But for those 5 years you've bought 5 cars and they all sucked. Wouldn't you stop listening to them? Why don't we stop listening to ESPN? I have no idea about the validity of what I'm going to say but when was the last time ESPN gotten anything right. Weather it's picking MVP's, league champions or sideline reporters.)

Yay for the little sports too.

Horse racing is back and I don't think anyone under the age of 35 cares. I do like Big Brown's trainer, he's a cocky prick and I hope the horse wins the triple crown. But he better watch out for Josh Hamilton because he might win it too. Then we could have a race between them to see who the real triple crown winner is. It wouldn't matter who would win because Kimbo Slice would kick their ass. I'm a huge Chuck Norris guy and I love Walker Texas Ranger but Kimbo would wear his ass out. Chuck isn't a ground fighter and neither is Kimbo so we'd be right in Kimbo's wheelhouse. Jack Bauer wouldn't stand a chance.

Contest: Anyone who saw the Kimbo Slice fight in HD please give your best description of the cauliflower ear the Colossus had. Winner will be immortalized in the eyes of the youth movement. And I'll think of something cool that the winner can do or have.

PS. The NHL might be back. I watched the third period of Game 5 and all the overtimes. That was a crazy game, everyone in the room thought so too. Intensity, fast paced action and great goal tending. Welcome back NHL. Maybe.

Bill Simmons is baaack.

After a fairly public, (depending what you read) spat with ESPN the man who I should most hate has returned.
He had a chat on Monday, which are always a great read and a ESPN Mag column about Lakers-Celtics.
His column today was biting and a sort of Eff You to those in Boston who have begun to recently question his commitment to the C's.
I'm posting the two things here and here.

Nah here.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3422313

http://proxy.espn.go.com/chat/chatESPN?event_id=20902